Perimenopause Musings
Caitlin Moran on Perimenopause: “When you’re dealing with the menopause, or perimenopause, it’s useful, I think, if you’ve “done some drugs” in your life. The day after doing Ecstasy, when you can feel the drugs leaving your body, hour by hour, and the list of things that you felt inclined to do last night – dance, talk, laugh, jump off a wall because it was funny, kiss and hug people, shout, “I LOVE YOU!” at strangers, because, in that moment, you really do – gradually gets smaller and smaller, until you want to do none of those things any more.
Now, all you want to do is curl up in a ball and concentrate on feeling terrible. You enter a phase of regret. Your synapses, having been bathed previously in lovely, warm, syrupy rushes of serotonin, have now run out of serotonin and all that’s left is cortisol and adrenaline. You might feel a bit angry. You definitely feel woeful. Why is everything so awful now? Have you wasted your entire weekend? Christ, everything feels so effortful. Why must there be a bad bit? Why does the world look so bleak? Everyone loved you when you were a happy, dancing lady. But no one wants to go near the sad, crying woman now. She keeps talking about how doomed the planet is. She’s no fun any more.
As I have realised with my ongoing reproductive shutdown, the main thing that’s happening is: you’re not on drugs any more. Since the age of 13, when my ovaries cranked into action, I have been regularly bathed in oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. You can wikipedia what these hormones/drugs do – and their functions are many, varied and amazing – but now my body is essentially running out of them, I can tell you what their primary effect is. They make you a bit stoned and lovely. That’s my scientific analysis. The hormones of a fertile woman just make you… nicer. All those gendered clichés about women – that we’re kinder, gentler, more patient, more encouraging, more self-sacrificing – that’s because we’re kind of high on nature’s sexy Valium. We’re all a little bit off our actual tits. We’re pleasant company. You like hanging out with us.”
While I find her musings to be sadly spot on, there are some bright spots that go unmentioned here. For one, our newfound sobriety brings a lot of clarity. And secondly, there is so much we can do to lessen these symptoms. Much like our menstrual cycles in general, our ever-shifting hormones give the gift of showing us what’s going on inside our bodies. And though we take the overwhelmingly unpleasant side effects as the price of womanhood, the truth is much of it can be avoided. Symptoms are our body’s form of communication.
Night sweats are an indication to balance blood sugar. Hair going away from the places you want it and appearing in undesired locations?; a signal to check androgen levels. Crazy mood swings: a sign to revisit our diet and see if it’s meeting our new needs. Are we getting enough fat and protein of the right kinds?
There is so much we have to change at this shifting point. Gone are the days of exercising yesterday’s transgressions away with a quick recovery. Middle-aged well-being requires discipline . We become what we do. This is the clarion call in the pain. Listen, and you will be rewarded with nothing. In other words, the absence of symptoms and more space to do the things you were brought here to do. Ignore the signs at this stage in life and they will likely return as disease states. We are running out of time to correct the misguided decisions of our past.
All pain and discomfort is also an opportunity, to get to know our bodies better and in turn, love them better. That is the gift of this time of life, should we rise to the challenge.
